Jackie Harder
What one thing that you don’t have in your life would make a huge difference to you if you did?
How would your life be different? How would that affect the significant people in your life?
These questions help my coaching clients focus on where they are right now, where they want to be and – most importantly – what it will feel like once they get there.
The first question is the easiest to answer. A new car, a nicer home, a loving relationship, a million dollars, a great job, their own business…most people have no problem coming up with at least one thing that would make a huge difference in their lives.
It’s exploring the answers to the other two questions that can get dicey.
How your life would be different takes a certain amount of drilling down.
For the purposes of discussion, let’s take the million-dollar answer and explore it a bit more.
How would your life be different if you had a million dollars?
You could probably afford a nice house and a new car (or two), pay off your bills, put some money away in a retirement account, invest a chunk, help your aged parents or help launch your children on a new life, travel to exotic locales, dine in the finest restaurants, buy a great boat…the list may be so large that your million-dollar windfall would begin to look puny!
Now imagine how it would feel to you to have these things in your life. Would you feel happy? Good? Content? Wise? Proud? Secure? Magnanimous?
Take some time to delve into it. Keep digging.
You may learn that many of the things you want in your life will bring you to the same emotional place. That’s a powerful lesson for you, and something to keep in mind.
Feelings are important because they are the impetus drives you forward to reach any goal. The things you want – whatever they may be – are only the outer manifestation of what it is you want to feel when you get those things.
Now imagine how the important people in your life would be affected if you got that million dollars.
What would happen with your family? Would your spouse or lover be jealous of your newfound wealth? How would your best friend react?
How would you handle it? Would any of it matter to you?
If you feel that having a million dollars is way out of your realm of possibilities (at least at this time), look at something that really resonates with you and go through the exercise again.
How would you feel if you got that really great job you’ve been wanting? How would your family and friends feel about it? Would they be excited for you? Would they support you in your new position? Would they be angry that you would have to move or spend less time with them?
If you’re serious about getting that one big thing in your life, it’s worth talking about. Make sure they want for you what you want for yourself. And then decide whether the trade-offs are worth it.
If you’d like support in getting that one thing that would make a huge difference in your life – even a million dollars! – consult a coach.
